Setting Expectations in Marriage

Justin has never disappointed me when it comes to my birthday.  I know this may come as a surprise to some of you out there.  He is a typical man, without super powers, and while he is super considerate and always thoughtful of my needs, this isn’t the reason the day goes off without a hitch.

I realized early on in our marriage that Justin wants nothing more than to make me happy.  Men love happy wives!  But he can’t read my mind.  So if I have a specific vision of what should happen, I need to communicate that to him.

So I told him, on my birthday I like him to take the day off work, I want to sleep in, and I would love breakfast in bed.  I tell him what I want to do with our day and even give him present suggestions.  I thought this may take some of the fun out of the day, but it doesn’t.  It makes everything go much smoother because my expectations are met.

This has trickled into other parts of our marriage, and every time I have a certain expectation about how things should go, I tell him.  I never expect him to read my mind because the fact of the matter is, he can’t.  I would say this easily dispels 70% of all possible disagreements (many of which we had in our first year of marriage before I realized this).

The nice part of all of this is it makes it even easier for Justin to go the extra mile by showing up with fresh flowers or Sees candy because he knows what above and beyond means to me.

So my best advice ladies would be setting those clear expectations, you’re man WANTS to make you happy and you are his biggest help.  May all your birthdays and anniversaries be happy ones!!